Sometimes I find it so easy to let my “used to be” (you know, the me without God) speak to who I am now. I wallow in my shame, sadness and loss. That’s not the greif that God desires for us or that Jesus made possible for us. Again, that’s the old way and the [...]
Sometimes I find it so easy to let my “used to be” (you know, the me without God) speak to who I am now. I wallow in my shame, sadness and loss. That’s not the greif that God desires for us or that Jesus made possible for us. Again, that’s the old way and the old way leads to death. Though I may still be alive, I might be better off dead if I live there, living a dead life.
No, God in all His mercy and love sent His Son to lift me out of the pit (and to add me to His team of lifters) so I would no longer have to live in that kind of greif. In the new life I have greif that leads to life, that moves me forward in becoming who I am to be.
No regrets!
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death 2 Corinthians 7:10
In 2010 there are a few goals that I have – some are personal and some are God goals. God has put on my heart and in my mind, “Prayer”. He has been working on me for a while in this area . . . last year I listened to a series by John Eldredge & Ransomed Heart called “Hope of Prayer”, and I could feel the kindling start to smolder. At the beginning of this year it feels like a gigantic pile of brush doused in gasoline so I’m going to drop the match on it and dig deeper, follow Him.
I am going to start with “attending” the “Hope of Prayer” seminar (via the mp3’s on my iPhone) and then journal my notes, thoughts, questions and revelations here. I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences & insights.
If you would like to join me on this journey (or just have one of your own) you can get this “seminar” at the Daily Audio Bible Resource Page or at the Ramsomed Heart Website on CD (or as a download).
The other “goals” on my heart for this year are Grace, Health, Finances, resolution.
Every once in a while I will share more about me and my family so this becomes more of a community. Today I want to share about Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. My guess is you have no idea what it really is and it brings Memorial Day Weekend & Jerry Lewis to mind. After reading this, you will have a responsibility to share what you know, to get the word out so we can save our boys!
Duchenne muscular dystrophy is the most common fatal genetic disorder diagnosed in childhood, affecting approximately 1 in every 3,500 live male births (about 20,000 new cases each year). Duchenne results in progressive loss of muscle strength and is caused by a mutation in the gene that encodes for dystrophin. The progressive muscle weakness leads to serious medical problems, particularly issues relating to the heart and lungs. Young men with Duchenne typically live into their late twenties. Duchenne can be passed from parent to child, but approximately 35% of cases occur because of a random spontaneous mutation.
What’s my stake in Duchenne? In April of 2008 my 2nd oldest son was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Caleb is 9 this year and an amazing boy! He’s smart, dedicated, loves math & video games. He really cares for the people around him.
Caleb goes to the MDA clinic twice a year as well as going to a pulmonologist and cardiologist twice a year. Last summer he got a wheel chair that he has progressively spent more time in as it has become harder for him to walk. There are some scary prospects for the future that have to be address but he is also full of life and we are all about living. There are also amazing things happening in research right now. Here are a few of the cool things going:
Finally, “We will end duchenne, but we have to do it together.” Pat Furlong, Parent Project MD.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. – 2 Corinthians 4:8-10
This was the key verse in a sermon on Resilience at Mosaic.
I was caught by this verse from the very beginning because I so often think on just these things…
I am pressed on every side
I am perplexed
I am persecuted
I am struck down
I am defeated …
Whoa!! Is that really how I see my life? Not always, but quite often, it is. I must have a pretty hard life right? No, I have a good job, I have great friends & amazing kids and family. Is everything peachy? No, of course not, I live in the same fallen world as everyone else.
It really comes down to where I focus. Do I focus on the “bad deal” I’ve gotten or do I focus on the “amazing gifts” I’ve been given? Do I focus on what I can’t do or on what God is doing?
With that slight change in attitude I find:
I am NOT crushed . . .
I am NOT in despair . . .
I am NOT abandoned . . .
I am NOT destroyed . . .
I AM NOT DEFEATED . . .
Even through all of the pain and hardness of life I have victory because of Christ and even more. I have the privilege of carrying Christ crucified to the world, to all those within my sphere and even to be part of the “reveal” of Christ to those same people.
Not a bad deal if you ask me!
Mosaic is the church community where Erwin McManus (author of Soul Cravings & The Barbarian Way) serves as the primary communicator and cultural architect.
Mosaic is a community of followers of Jesus Christ, committed to live by faith, to be known by love, and to be a voice of hope. Most of their sermons are available through their podcasts. I encourage you to spend some time at www.mosaic.org and related endeavors.
I so want to be healed, to process/understand my feelings and how they relate to how I act . . . I’m really good at intellectualizing my feelings instead of feeling them. In some ways, it feels like another new journey.
I’ve been listening to a Michael Knott song lately, “This is the Healing”. You can purchase it here. It’s on LSU’s “This is the Healing” album.
“This Is the Healing”
You’ve been seen with a stiff lip
It’s happening to the best when the pain grips
You’ve been beaten by the bell
In all that you do
You thought Hell was a place one goes to
But your Hell on Earth is trueThis is the healing
Give me tears from all your bitter years
This is the healing
Salt the wounds, the healing will come soonYou’ve tried to philosophize your pain
But the hurts in your heart
And not in your brain
You could be hit by the Spirit
And be made new
You thought Heaven was a place one goes to
But this Heaven on Earth is trueChorus
Open your heart
The past three years have brought much change in my life, some really good times and some really bad times. Through it all, God has been working on me; sometimes in a focused area and sometimes in many areas at the same time. Often the new that God has brought me came with great struggle and pain on my part. Other times the “new” that has come was not in line with the path God had me on.
As I look back and review the struggle and pain, I think there are many factors that contributed:
Another factor in the pain were externals that were pushing me in areas I just was not ready or able to begin striding in. It has often been difficult for me to think beyond the end of the day much less a year, or five years in some of these areas. Yet, I was continually being asked to commit in these areas and didn’t have the tools necessary to respond.
We’ll spend the rest of the week exploring these factors further.
[note: blog post one for the National Blog Writing Month. Had it in my head Monday was the 1st - oops]
The focus of the blog is changing so expect to see a different feel, look and more posts than ever before.
The past three years have been really weird and difficult mainly because it’s all been so new for me to stand up to and in my wounding against some pretty big demons. I’ve learned so much and grown as well. When I originally started the blog I had the intent to bring light to my past struggles and insight to the processes I have been working through. But God has been showing me what He is preparing me for. Not that I have it figured out, there is much more growth in my future.
I will spend this week formulating some the areas where I am becoming and will take the NaBloWriMo (National Blog Writing Month) challenge to post each day of November to start investigating where I am becoming.
All of the old posts have been removed in the spirit of Tabula rasa. Some of the more popular posts will return in an archive section so you will still be able to point your friends to meaningful posts.
