Sometimes I find it so easy to let my “used to be” (you know, the me without God) speak to who I am now. I wallow in my shame, sadness and loss. That’s not the greif that God desires for us or that Jesus made possible for us. Again, that’s the old way and the [...]
My last post ended with the idea of having a testing ground for where God is growing me. I shared that often I was testing in unsafe waters and getting burned, but there is a way to test in safe waters.
The process of living in community with others began for me a few years ago, as I shared in this post, when I took the risk of sharing my issues with finances. That event is a good example of safe waters for risk. I met my friend, let’s call him Joe, through church. He was the leader of the small group my wife and I started attending at our new church and we had known each other previously through Boy Scouts. So, we had shared interests and had started the process of knowing each other through our weekly small group with our families and another small group revolving around mountain biking. Before I took the risk of sharing a big thing, we had both taken risks in small things – this laid the foundation.
When I shared with him about not handling my finances, Joe didn’t do any of the things I thought he would: laugh at me, make light of my situation, reject our friendship. He did do a few things that surprised me: he something, he understood my difficulties, he accepted me where I was. This was the start of a weekly meetings that have continued for the last 4 or 5 years where we have spoke into each others lives and been amazing support for each other through some difficult times.
The main lesson for developing “safe waters” is that you have to seek them out. You may need them right now, but if you have cultivated intimacy, transparency, memories in your friendships you will not have safe places to be yourself. Start today! One small risk can lead to all kinds of grace, understanding and good times.
Tags: friendship, intimacy, risk
November 5th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
interesting that I so often gravitate to the shark infested waters – It’s patterns again – gotta work on those patterns.