Sometimes I find it so easy to let my “used to be” (you know, the me without God) speak to who I am now. I wallow in my shame, sadness and loss. That’s not the greif that God desires for us or that Jesus made possible for us. Again, that’s the old way and the [...]
…baby step onto the elevator… baby step into the elevator… I’m *in* the elevator. [doors close] AHHHHHHHHHHHH! – Bob Wiley; character in “What about Bob?“
Just as we learned in the movie “What About Bob?”, there are steps we need to take to make changes in our lives. Often, just taking that first step is too much. I have found this to be the case for me, the down side is, things don’t just stay the same, they tend to go the opposite direction. Why can it seem so hard to take that first step?
Most of the time I did not understand why it was so hard to take these first steps. I really hadn’t done the work to understand all the answers to all my “whys.” I would read more, ask more people, dismiss the step, fight change, pray (plead) – anything to avoid that first step. When I finally would take the first step (if I did) I would find that it was like changing from trying to walk in water to walking on dry land: the following steps were so much easier and more natural. Looking back over the past two years I can see that some of the steps I “couldn’t” take were steps that I shouldn’t have been taking (and some of the ones I did take fell in that same category).
This journey has been long and choosing the side paths make it longer and harder to find my way back to the path where God wants me. There were many people pressing on me for specific changes, as well as me pressing myself. A combination of not being ready, not seeking God’s counsel, wanting to be “done”, and pressures from those around me who didn’t necessarily have healing in their agenda worked together to make staying on path difficult.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Confucius
